Excerpt from Swan Lake by Mark Helprin

"Are you the emporer?" I asked, because at first I thought he might be a dog handler or a groom.
This seemed to amuse him. It was he: I recognized him from postage stamps.
"No wonder you're the emporer," I said. "You can write with your foot."
"Not really. I just keep my pen there sometimes," he answered. "But wait, maybe I can. What an excellant way to send orders to my foot soldiers. Call for a tablet."
"How?"
"Just call."
"Just say teblet?"
"Yes, my voice is tired."
"I'm not used to giving orders."
"I am. Do it."
"Tablet!" I screamed. The door flew open so quickly that I jumped back in surprise, and a liveried servant appeared with a vellum tablet. While I held it, the emporer tried to write with the pen held in his toes. He didn't do very well. Then he had me try it. I didn't do very well either. Now I breathed a little easier, because I knew we had something in common...I could no longer ignore his costume. "Are those pajamas?" I asked.
"Of course not! This is military underwear! Today I inspected a regiment of my hussars."
"In underwear?"
"Yes in underwear, with a uniform over it."

-Passage from Swan Lake by Mark Helprin